Dirty Thoughts
by StrawberryMii-Chan
Summary: A bunch of shorts with Tsugumu over reacting! it's kind of funny i guess...
1. Chapter 1

Papa's POV

Home sweet home, finally after a long day of fruitful work I can come home to my darling sparrows and loving nest. I opened the door fully expecting my sparrows to jump into my arms and my wife to be waiting for me. No one greeted me as I walked through the front door, I could smell the roasted chicken Midori had in the croak pot. "Mamma…." I walked to the kitchen where my wife was diligently tending to the meal that would soon be dinner. "Hello Tsugumu darling. How was your day?" Midori greeted me happily and warmly. "Where are my little sparrows?"

I still hadn't seen them since I got home. "Let me think…Ami is upstairs in her room watching t.v. and Amu is in her room." My wife smiled. I could tell she was pleased.. "With her tutor….?" I was skeptical. Midori nodded, "Oh yes, of course. He is a fine young man. And he is definitely a keeper." My heart shattered. "Mamma how could you let a hawk invade our nest? What about our little sparrows?" Midori raised an eyebrow, "Really Tsugumu? You should trust Amu a little more. And besides, Amu tells me that her friend is more of a puppy than a bird if anything." A puppy? A puppy was worse than a hawk!

Tricky pups, they'll lure in a cute, innocent sparrow with their big round puppy dog eyes, pretending to be harmless and then play with them and when the sparrow least expects it that is when the pup will attack. I walked upstairs and put my hand on the door knob and was about to go in until I heard some very distressing things. There was a loud thump and then a groan. The groan was masculine for sure.

No POV in Particular ~ . -

"Tadase, I told you not there." There was some mumbling, "And why not? It's not sensitive or anything. You let me do it any other time." Tadase countered. "Yeah but usually it's comfortable. And besides it won't go like that." Amu's voice was barely audible. There was a momentary pause. "No, Tadase not like that!" Amu squeaked. "It'll fit like that! I've done this before and it does do that! I should now! It is mine." Tadase muttered. "Yeah but look at it, it's too big! How am I suppose to fit it?" Amu's voice was panicked now.

"Yeah I know you're more experienced at this kind of thing but you could at least try to go easy on me. I'm still a kid you know." Amu snapped. "I know but this is for your own good, now hold still or it'll hurt like hell." Tadase said huffing. Amu groaned loudly. Her elaborate panting could be clearly heard on the other side of the door. "Alright one more and I'm sure you'll feel better after a while." Tadase said in a strained tone. "Ugggghhhh…Tadase it hurts. Stop it!" Amu whined. The doorbell rang downstairs. "Tsugumu darling could you get the door for me? I'm still busy in the kitchen." Tsugumu pulled away from the door and trudged down the stairs to open the front door.

Tsugumu opened the door to see a lean indigo haired teen dressed in all black with his hands shoved in his pockets. "Is Amu ready yet?" Were the first words out of his mouth. Tsugumu slammed the door in Ikuto's face and ran to the kitchen to see his wife. "Midori! Why is there a teenage boy at the door asking for my little sparrow?" Midori looked up from the potatoes that she was cutting, "Tsugumu don't tell me you left that sweet boy outside?" Midori rushed to the door and pulled the boy in. "You'll have to forgive my husband Ikuto-kun; he's a bit ….eccentric." Midori smiled as she casually insulted her husband standing no more than 2 feet from her. "Is Amu still upstairs?" He asked looking in the direction of the pinkette's room.

"Oh yes she is. She's been up there for the longest time! I have no idea what would take her so long." Midori said shaking her head. "I mean I did everything I could to prepare her and make her feel more at ease when this whole thing came around." Midori said calmly. All the while Tsugumu's soul is crumbling to little pieces as he listens to his wife's nefarious plot to rid his sparrow of her innocence. "I think I'll go upstairs and join her." Ikuto said smirking. "Alright Ikuto-kun but be careful you don't want to get full effect of it while you're here. You'll want to save that for another time." Midori dropped the potatoes in a pot of boiling water.

Ikuto headed up the staircase that led to the second floor. He stopped at the door as he heard Amu's laughter. A split second later he was pushed aside and knocked on his ass. Standing in front of the door was he father. Midori was right; her husband certainly was eccentric. Tsugumu thrust the door open to Amu's room. In the middle of the room was Amu wearing a black kimono with pink sakura petals on it. Her hair was twisted into an elegant bun with sapphire rhinestone combs holding her hair in place. Behind her was a blond male…or female…..his/her hair was so long and their facial features were questionably feminine if she/he were a guy. Ad yet he/she had a charm that only a boy could possess. He/she was wearing a plain white kimono. Ikuto appeared in the door way with a slightly annoyed look on his face.

"Hey **Dad,** what's up with the attitude?" Ikuto asked. Tsugumu was currently staring at his daughter in belief. What the hell was going on in here earlier? He heard grunting and crashes and his little sparrow was in pain. "What was happening in here earlier Amu-chan?" Tsugumu asked his daughter. Amu flushed a brilliant cherry red, "Tadase-kun, was helping me put on my kimono and obi because Mamma didn't have time to help me." Amu averted her gaze. The cerulean haired boy was "inconspicuously" glancing at the rosette haired girl. "Kimono….obi…but Amu you were …..whimpering and he was grunting." Ikuto smirked at the realization of what Tsugumu thought was going on.

"You're a dirty old man. Thinking your daughter would be loosing her virginity to that gay prick over there." Ikuto said it clearly. Amu's face flushed darker, Tsugumu's soul escaped from his body and Tadase was….well Tadagay after all. Ikuto turned to Tadase, "Turns out you being gay has a plus." Ikuto lazed on Amu's bed as Tadase finished tying Amu's obi. "Ikuto-kun I thank you for acknowledging my sexual orientation and accepting it at last." Tadase bowed to the older boy. Ikuto leaned towards him, "You're the type of person who would be a masochist aren't you Tadase? You'd enjoy being dominated and subdued wouldn't you?" Ikuto whispered barely loud enough for Amu to hear.

Tadase's cheeks turned pink, "Of course only if it were you or Kukai-sama." Tadase confessed whole-heartedly. Ikuto rolled off the bed, "I thought so. Thanks for helping Amu out Tadase. Come on Amu we have to go to the festival now. We're already late and my performance is 15 minutes ago." Amu laughed and got up. "Thank you again Tadase-kun. Have a good night. I'll see you at school on Monday." Ikuto scoffed, "You won't see her at least until next week with the way she looks right now." Ikuto said wrapping an arm around Amu's waist.

"Have a good time and don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Midori shouted from the front of the house as Ikuto pulled out of the driveway with a rev of his car. As the red tail lights of Ikuto's car faded Tadase appeared by Midori's side and Tsugumu was crawling on the floor looking as lifeless as ever. "Midori, Amu was doing things in her room that she shouldn't do until she's 30!" Midori chuckled, "Don't worry about that Tsugumu, we did it when I was 16! Amu's the same age so she'll be fine with Ikuto-kun." Tadase's face flushed at the secrets that Amu had confided in him.

She had her first time with Ikuto already; it was last Christmas. So yeah, some how she said that Ikuto had seduced her but Tadase didn't blame her for giving in; Ikuto was certainly one hot piece of man. She told him that it was the most pleasurable experience she had ever had. "So Tadase-kun, how are thing going with Kukai-kun? Have you guys gone all the way home yet?" Midori asked as if discussing sex life was the most regular topic. Then again this was Amu's mother. "Actually Midori-san….that is tomorrow." Tadase smiled as he thought about his auburn haired soccer star that would be coming home tomorrow from America. Kukai went to a soccer camp in America for 3 weeks. So yeah.

"You rock his world Tadase-kun. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go tell Ami that dinner is ready." Midori stepped over her spouse's seemingly lifeless body. "Midori-san aren't you worried about you husband?" Tadase asked. Midori laughed, "He'll be fine. He does it ever other day or so it's normal." Ami came down stairs, looking from her mother to Tadase to her father's body on the floor to the front door then to Amu's room. "Amu?" Ami asked sitting down at the table. The other two nodded.

* * *

Mii-Chan: That was a lot of fun to write! BTW I don't own Shugo Chara.

Evil Cow:MOO HA HA HA!

Mii-Chan:Dammit Saaya I thought I got rid of you.

Saaya: No, I'm right here.

Mii-Chan: *looks Evil Cow* Hell any body could have mixed them up. They are twins after all! ~.-


	2. Chapter 2

Mii-Chan: This is short No. 2 for Dirty Thoughts….

Amu: So…why does my dad have to come n at awkward moments?

Mii-Chan: Cuz that's what makes it funny…..or at least I think it makes it funny….

Tsugumu: My Sparrow! *glomps Amu*

Amu: Papa can you let go….

Mii-Chan: Any who…..I don't Own Shugo Chara.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Tsugumu's POV**

The day was going by extremely slow…..I glanced at my phone. It was only 1:40; Amu would be getting out of school soon. My little sparrow was at school…with all those boys. She couldn't be interested in boys at her age. I would be doing a photo-shoot in about 10 minutes if my client would get here. The door to my studio opened and a blond woman came in carrying a fluff ball. Why in the world would she be carrying a fluff ball? It yipped and I looked at it closely. It was actually a Pomeranian. The woman wanted to take pictures of her dog for her Christmas greeting cards. Can you say obsessed?

15 minutes into the shoot the dog ended taking a piss on my green screen. My phone went off as I moved the set to another location. "Hello?" No one answered but I heard the voices loud and clear. "Amu, come on! You gotta open it up wider!" This voice was familiar and they were talking to my little sparrow. "Ugh…." There was a moment of panting, "I can't open it any wider! If I do, I'm certain it'll break! Besides, it's not like this is the first time I've had to do this." The boy laughed, "Sure it isn't. If I didn't know any better I'd say this is your first time." Amu yelped and I nearly dropped my phone. "Gawd Ikuto! Did you have to go and get me wet!"

Oh no! my little sparrow was being violated again! That's the second time already this week! Where is Midori? Why isn't she with her daughter? Why isn't Midori protecting her from the dangers of boys? "Dammit Amu hold still will you? If you keep moving I won't be able to get out." Amu groaned. There was a splashing noise. Oh no! My poor little sparrow! "Mr. Photographer! Hello, you're supposed to be taking pictures of my dog!" The blond woman was becoming irritated. "Oh yes." I certainly didn't want to be taking pictures while my sparrow was being deflowered! I put my phone on the table next to my camera. The little fluff ball was now jumping up and down trying to get a fly.

"Amu! Oh, dear you shouldn't do it that way….do it like this. That way if any of the stuff comes out you'll be able to catch it." That was Midori's voice! Again my wife was letting Amu be taken as prey to the blue haired boy. "Alright Mama let me try this real quick Ikuto. Like this Mama?" Amu's voice was skeptical. There was a slurping noise. "Yes, I guess it works that way to. Just make sure that both of you clean up after ward. I don't want any of the white stuff left behind." Oh dear lord what have I done to deserve this awful fate for my darling little sparrow? "Hey Mr. Photographer are you okay?" the blond lady was holding her dog and looking at me. I shook my head, "No...I'm not alright. My poor sparrow was being deflowered by a savage beast as your dog pissed on my equipment." The woman was certainly taken back and she stormed out of my studio. "Ikkkkuuuuuttttooo! It's my turn! I want….." Amu's voice was cut short. "Here, lick that. T should keep you busy. And don't bite or else it'll taste funny." Ikuto warned my daughter. He was warning her wile he invaded her? What was wrong with this boy?

"How do you know? Have you done this before? This is soooooo good." Amu sighed contently. I grabbed my car keys and rushed out to my car. "Yeah, I do this almost every weekend. You should come over that way we can do it together. I get kind of lonely when it's just me and my mom." This boy had no moral sense at all! His poor mother, how could she be submissive like that? "That sounds like a good idea," There was a short pause. I ran a red light and nearly hit a fire hydrant. "Ewwww, eww, eww! It's gross it's gross it's gross!" Amu spit some thing out. "I told you not to bite it! Now look all of the white is dripping out!" I pressed my foot to the gas pedal, the speedometer passed 80 mph. "I know we can use tape to fix it!"

There was a whoosh of wind from the other end of the phone. "Gawd, I told her not to dot that. Now I have to clean it up myself." Ikuto muttered. I heard running water and then a breathless Amu. "I found the tape! Hold it up to the light so I an see where the hole is." Amu said seriously. "Well I can't really do that seeing how the lights are on the other side of the room, and if I move it's gonna leak even more." Ikuto hissed. "Oh don't be like that. We'll just…..oh I know! I'll be right back!" I got on the highway; I was only a few minutes from home now. There were flashing lights behind me. I slowed down and pulled over to the shoulder of the road. The officer stepped out of the car and tapped on my window. I rolled it down reluctantly. I needed to get home! "Sir would you mind showing me you license and registration?" I riffled through the papers in my glove compartment.

"Alright I'm back!" Amu's voice was jubilant. "Amu…what the hell happened to your clothes?" Ikuto asked. "Well you see, Ami is painting her bedroom and I tripped outside of her door where the tray of paint was and it got all over my clothes. So yeah and I could just leave you sitting down here in the kitchen waiting. It must be painful sitting there having to hold it. I'm sorry I bit it. You told me not to and I still did, but it was an accident." Amu explained. "Alright sir, you have a $300 ticket for 7 traffic violations. Please try to drive safer." The officer handed me the ticket along with my license and registration. I threw them in the passenger seat and then sped home.

"So is it okay now? I mean….Will it still work the right way?" Amu asked worriedly. I screeched to a stop in front of my house. I threw the car door open and tried to get out until I realized I was still buckled in my seat. "Yeah it'll work." I heard Ikuto say as I burst through the front door. I ran to the kitchen to see Amu wearing an apron, shorts and a t-shirt. I looked at Ikuto. He was holding an icing bag. (A/N: I don't know what they call those bags that you put icing in when you're decorating something.) "My sparrow! Are you okay?" I ran over to her and thoroughly checked her over. "Oh Tsugumu you're home early." Midori greeted me happily. I turned to her, "How could you let our little sparrow be taken away from us? And you! Taking advantage of your mother! What is wrong with you?" I asked looking at Ikuto. Ikuto raised an eyebrow…."What are you talking about?" I held up my phone, "I heard every word you said. About you getting lonely when it's just you and your mother and how you wanted Amu to go with you. And you took my sparrow's innocence!"

Ikuto laughed. "You think that….." he continued laughing and Midori was chuckling. Amu was blushing like a tomato. "Her innocence? I don't think so, my mom and I bake cakes and it's just the two of us so it gets lonely. I don't know what goes on inside your head but it's some pretty dirty stuff. Come on Amu-koi. My mom is waiting for us at my house." He pulled her out of the kitchen. I sank to my knees with my head in my hands. Amu ran back in seconds later and grabbed a white iced cake off the counter. "We'll be back Mama. I'll be sure to tell Souka Happy Birthday for you." Amu ran out of the kitchen. Midori sat down next to me as I curled into fetal position.

"Tsugumu darling are you okay?" Midori rubbed my back and I shook my head.

* * *

Normal POV

Ami walked downstairs and into the kitchen to find her almost lifeless father in fetal position and rocking back and forth while her mother tried comforting him. She knew exactly what happened; her father over reacted to something that happened and he didn't know the whole situation. Ami shook her head and grabbed a juice box ffrom the fridge.

* * *

~ With Ikuto & Amu ~ Amu's POV

"Your dad is seriously a nut job." Ikuto said driving through town to his house. "I don't think so, he's just a bit over protective." I said looking at the perfectly baked cake in my lap. Ikuto chuckled, "How did he even know what was going on?" I laughed a little, "My phone was in my back pocket the entire time and I guess…..when I sat down…." Ikuto chuckled, "You butt dialed." I flushed and looked out the window. "He honestly thinks I took your virginity." The car stopped in his garage. I nodded my head a little. "That won't be happening until I let you." I said defensively looking at Ikuto.

Ikuto leaned in with a smirk on his face. "You'll let me do that some day." I blushed and tried to look away but Ikuto caught my lips with his. His tongue traced my lips and he bit down softly asking for entrance. I opened my mouth and leaned into the kiss. Our tongues battled for dominance and Ikuto won. He pulled away slowly and then kissed my neck. I was breathless and red-faced thinking of when **that** day would come. "Come on, my mom is waiting for us." Ikuto opened the door for me and I got out. Ikuto walked behind me. "Don't think that I'm not going to take you some day, becasue I will. And when I do, you'll be mine forever and there's nothing your dad can do about it." Ikuto whispered as we walked through the living room. I shivered a little as his fingers traced a gentle pattern on my back. How did I ever fall in with such a guy?

I saw Souka sitting on the couch with Aruto beside her. "My mom says happy birthday Souka….she couldn't come because my dad…..had a problem." Souka smiled, "It's alight Amu."

* * *

Tsugumu: The entire time Ikuto and Amu were just making a cake?

Mii-Chan: Well yeah….you know Amu is always calling Ikuto a hentai but this has convinced me that you're the hentai her Tsugumu.

Tsugumu: *crying in a corner*

Amu: That does make sense.

Ikuto: R&R.

Mii-Chan: thank you!


End file.
